Rediscovering the game of chess as an exercise in the freedom of thinking

Some impressions, but a disclaimer first.

I feel the urge to write, to share my experiences and observations. However, I constantly suppress my voice, persuading myself that the way I shape my thoughts is too…

too chaotic; too long;

lacking of logic, coherence and structure;

…and so on and so forth my inner critic goes on as if it has an assignment to make an inventory of the collection of sins one could commit in a piece of “bad writing” As the saying goes - whatever you believe is true. I’ve decided to give myself a chance to get better in writing and in my artistic expression in general.

I’ll write in order to conquer the fear of mistakes, willing to commit them so the room for the desired improvement would become visible. I’ll write in order to get better at this art and to document the process of transformation along the way.

It was a disclaimer. Now let’s get to the story - my impressions on the European Business Team Championship. 

Yes, the correct name of the tournament is “corporate” and not a "business championship". During one round my husband opened the page of the event, the website happened to be automatically translated into English, the machine gave the event this name - "Business Chess Championship". It brought us a smile in a tense moment of watching the zeitnot stage of the games. So, I’ve decided to call the event this way. Let's talk business with an open heart and smiling mind.

Isn’t it a luxury? To think on one’s own, to come up with ideas, to try to foresee the consequences of one’s decisions then to put these reasonings combined with intuition on test and all this without a need to justify one’s moves, i.e actions to anyone but oneself?

Having distanced myself from the professional chess life and starting to try to integrate into the social one, I’ve suddenly discovered the game of chess from this perspective. Exercise in freedom of thought and in freedom of expression. It’s not a surprise that playing chess professionally  (which meant for me "for results") I couldn’t perceive this part of the game, although freedom was one of my main goals. A goal that could be achieved thanks to the results, but I couldn’t understand that the game itself would provide me a moment of freedom.

Now I do.

In the European Business Chess Team Championship tens of people could act in behalf of their companies without a need to write a report to justify all of the decisions they took during the tournament. I can’t deny that it’s a pleasure and a huge honour for me to happen to be a part of the team who won the tournament.

However, considering the fact that I’m doing a research on the meaning of "victory" aiming to challenge the accustomed measurement system of “wins” and “losses” I believe that the focus on the inner development of the qualities that chess asks us to exercise in order to be able to play a good game - concentration, depth of thought, pattern recognition, trust to one’s own perception, to name a few - this practice itself is a true win.

At least, it seems to me to be an antidote against the arrival of the era of "endarkment" that might happen if we as a society continue to "outsource" to the computers ever more functions of our own brain and even of our intuition.

How to decide if there is a winner in the game?

The winner is the one who plays.

And for myself I have a few criteria helping me to analyse my experiences in life. For example, as long as I keep improving my skills of resilience, as long as I keep writing down my insights - I’m on the winning side of my own game.

In my memory this event will remain as an inspiration to practice the skill of courage "to dare to use one’s own brain" - a famous motto of the era of Enlightenment. Acting on this inspiration I've decided to write down and share my impressions in the hope to keep this mode of thinking as long as possible for myself and to pass on to others this creative mood and a wave of inner liberation.

With profound gratitude to my husband for every moment I’m blessed to share with him, to the whole Europe Echecs team for their willingness and efforts to play good chess, to Sami Kouatly for brave and decisive organisation, to Bachar Kouatly for his wise and inspiring stories, and to Anastasia Savina who I met by chance at this tournament for her zen-like spirit, and the phrase she was famous for in our teenage years, that took me ages to be comfortable with saying myself: I don’t know. 

I don’t know and I’m happy to allow myself probably not yet the luxury of thinking on my own and checking my reasonings and “intuiting” in the safe space of the game of chess, however, I can happily admit that I don’t know how to figure out a,b,c etc in life and I’m comfortable with it since I understood that there is always a right waiting for me to start practicing the Beginner’s mind.

As a result of my irrational logic, I've decided to allow myself to enjoy this right and wrote this article.